lili_pad: (harry potter)
Lilith's Fandom World ([personal profile] lili_pad) wrote2008-07-04 06:22 pm

Stoic

Title: Stoic
Author: Lilith ([insanejournal.com profile] lilithilien)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Never, ever, admit that it hurts.
Word Count: 700 words
Rating: PG (for language)
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
A/N: This began with a drabble and inspiring picture, but demanded to be more. It's still in pseudo-drabble form (with a 1-2-1-2-1 pattern) because I crave discipline. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to [insanejournal.com profile] sarcastic_jo for the beta; not sorry I couldn't work in the mpreg for you!


"Does it hurt?"

Not waiting for an answer, his hand stretches toward the bloodied chin, the least of his enemy's wounds, the only one he can bear to look at. Fingers still rank with smoke freeze a fraction of an inch above raw skin, their auras bleeding together but not daring more. Harry winces nonetheless.

"I'm fine," he parries.

"Of course you are. You're Harry Potter."

He means it, but like everything between them, it's misunderstood. Bloodshot eyes glare, glazed and terrible behind spider-webbed spectacles. "Fuck off, Malfoy."

His hand hangs in the air, still frozen, long after Harry's gone.

~~~~~


"Does it hurt?"

Yet another seat-of-his-pants mission and Harry's back at St. Mungo's, his face streaked with newly dried blood that makes Draco feel sixteen again. Makes him want to poke at the raw wound just so Potter will react.

"I'm fine."

The scars pile up like sea lions on a rock, but the answer never varies. "You can admit it hurts, I won't think less of you."

Potter's eyes slam into him, swift as a curse and just as green. "You mean you already think so little of me it won't matter."

Words. Words never have worked for them. They're too sharp-edged, too easy to distort. He wishes they were as supple as the Auror's cheek, as precise as his wand that knits the torn skin. But they're not, so Draco works silently, and he touches, Merlin, how he touches. Something about the freedom to touch Potter makes Draco's heart sing, and without realising it, he hums in harmony.

He freezes when he sees Harry staring, pulls away, blusters, "Well. Try not to get yourself killed, Potter."

"Would you care?"

Draco pauses, thinks, nods. Yes, he would, very much.

Potter leaves, saying nothing, but wearing the most curious smile.

~~~~~


"Does it hurt?"

"It hurts like fuck!" Draco tries to say. What does the idiot expect? Thirty-nine hours with the revenge-bent Lestranges is no one's idea of a holiday.

But only a groan escapes. The words choke in his throat under Rabastan's fingerprints, drown on his still-hexed tongue. Maybe it's for the best. Potter never complains, and somehow, grudgingly, Draco's come to respect him for it.

"Come on, Malfoy, this isn't how we're supposed to end, you and me."

As Apparition tugs him away, something remarkably like a kiss brushes his forehead and Draco wonders when Potter started thinking 'we.'

~~~~~


He awakens hours later at St. Mungo's, not as Healer this time but patient. He awakens to shimmering pain-blocking charms and a deathly tight grip on his once-rebuffed hand.

"You're awake," Potter states, ever obvious. "Does it hurt?"

It's the first time Harry's touched him for no good reason and Draco hardly feels it. With his entire being he wills the sensation to pierce the numbing fog.

"Not too bad. The charms help."

"I never pictured you as stoic," Harry teases, but kindly. Still Draco winces, remembering hippogriffs and childhood taunts.

"Should have, though," Harry continues. "You were always in control. I think that's why I tried so hard to rattle you."

Draco almost laughs. It only takes a thumb tracing slow circles on the back of his hand to rattle him. It only takes an invitation to dinner to shatter his composure.

"C-come again?"

"Dinner, you and me, once you get out."




His words are bold, but words lie. Draco searches for truth in Gryffindor-red cheeks and frantically darting eyes.

"Why?"

Harry's eyes still and Draco sees honesty flare, bright and brave. "Because I think I'd care if you got yourself killed."

It's a reason that, strangely, Draco understands.

~~~~~


Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map.

Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer.

His hand stretches out, his fingers charting each gleaming rice-white scar, every nick where flesh, too damaged for healing spells, too closely resembles a sock in need of darning. He pictures bruises now healed and once-cracked bones, and the blood, always the blood, that makes Draco care, fiercely, fervently, that Harry not get himself killed.

His lover will never in a million years admit that it hurts, but it doesn't matter, so long as it's Draco's hand he reaches for.


~~~ The End ~~~

[identity profile] alisanne.insanejournal.com 2008-07-04 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
*happy sigh*
Understated and well done. Beautiful job. :)

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-04 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you so much! I really appreciate that!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-04 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!!

From thrnbrooke

(Anonymous) 2008-07-04 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Sooo love this!

Re: From thrnbrooke

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-04 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!!

[identity profile] omarandjohnny.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
You make them dance so well, Lil, the push-and-pull of it all is so fantastic!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! I do love the way they squirm and struggle.

(Anonymous) 2008-07-05 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I loved this so much. The mood and tone of it was perfect.

And these lines:

Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map.

Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer.


Wow. Struck me still, I tell you. Beautiful!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
*glees* Thank you so much! I am so happy that it struck you like that!

[identity profile] inamac.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
That's beautifully poignant and I love the slow development of their relationship.

And the line The scars pile up like sea lions on a rock is a wonderful image.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
You know, I saw the sea lion caves in Oregon when I was a little girl, and I've never ever forgotten the sight. I'm glad you liked that. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment!

(Anonymous) 2008-07-05 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, beautiful. That picture moved me as well. Thank you.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much. The picture was inspiring. ;)

[identity profile] goddessriss.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Lil, how beautiful this is! I love it. I adore your Draco and Harry, how Draco silently acknowledges that words have never worked for them. This little exchange in particular blew me away:
'"Would you care?"

Draco pauses, thinks, nods. Yes, he would, very much.

Potter leaves, saying nothing, but wearing the most curious smile.'

So lovely. (Also, Wot? No MPREG???)

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 11:49 am (UTC)(link)
*snickers* Yeah, I know, mpreg would have fit so well with the "does it hurt?" line. Because, ow!

*huggles* I think that's my favourite passage too. I always imagine they'd almost need to re-learn how to communicate because so much has already been said between them.

Thanks for your lovely comment!

from prettyhairs

(Anonymous) 2008-07-05 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
soo lovely and truly awesome!=)
*loves*

Re: from prettyhairs

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 11:37 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!

(Anonymous) 2008-07-05 08:30 am (UTC)(link)
nice work! ^w^

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 11:37 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks!!

[identity profile] hambares.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 08:33 am (UTC)(link)
Very nice!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 11:37 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!!

[identity profile] sweetmelodykiss.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 09:54 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, just lovely! They make the perfect fit.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 11:38 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, sweetie! I'm really happy that you liked it!

[identity profile] pushdragon.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
I love everything about this, especially that gorgeous last line. There's some beautiful language, from spider-webbed spectacles to rice-white scars. And I'm such a sucker for repetition of ideas, and the "does it hurt" line is a gorgeous central image.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 12:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you so much, darling! I'm a big fan of repetition too, and ideas always cycling back in changed form. I'm really happy that you liked it!

(Anonymous) 2008-07-05 12:10 pm (UTC)(link)
That is so quietly beautiful.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you, what a lovely compliment!

(Anonymous) 2008-07-05 12:40 pm (UTC)(link)
"Does it hurt?"

"It hurts like fuck!" Draco tries to say.


Made me grin.

"Come on, Malfoy, this isn't how we're supposed to end, you and me."

This rings as a really lovely sentiment and I could hear Canon!Potter saying the same thing :)

Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map.
Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer.


That's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. Good job, I enjoyed this.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 01:46 pm (UTC)(link)
What a sweet comment! I'm so glad that you liked this, and I love hearing what lines work for different people. Thank you!

[identity profile] kabal42.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 01:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Beautiful. Lovely words and a great way of showing them with each other. Made me tear up a bit in the good way. Thank you, hon!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, thank you so much! That's such a sweet compliment. *hands over tissues*

[identity profile] angela_snape.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I like Draco as a Healer... this is excellent!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I think Draco would make a fine Healer (and would that I could be a hypochondriac witch). Thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[identity profile] vaysh11.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 01:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow - this is gorgeous. The structure, your awesome language, the way you weave hurt and healing into this story of Harry and Draco.
Somehow these lines - Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map. // Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer. - just blow me away. There is another story in here alltogether.
Thanks for writing, Lil.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, darling, thank you so much for the lovely comment! I'm absolutely giddy that you read it and that you liked it!

[identity profile] sassy_cissa.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
That was stunningly beautiful and almost heartbreaking.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you so much! I'm so pleased!

[identity profile] hpstrangelove.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Well WTF - why did this make me cry??? It doesn't seem like it should be angsty...anyway, great job!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, I'm sorry you cried ... hopefully they were those good tears that just remind you that you can feel? I'm really glad that you liked it, and thanks for your lovely comment!

(Anonymous) 2008-07-05 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Wonderful story. I just love the interaction between the two. Great work.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!

[identity profile] jennybliss.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Beautiful. This makes my heart sing.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-05 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
What a wonderful thing to say! Thank you so much!

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-06 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!!

[identity profile] rhianona.insanejournal.com 2008-07-07 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Gorgeous evocation of their relationship.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-08 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!

[identity profile] lycias.livejournal.com (from insanejournal.com) 2008-07-08 10:54 am (UTC)(link)
That was lovely.

[identity profile] lilithilien.insanejournal.com 2008-07-09 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!